🌼Five Things (Beside Looks) That Make You More Attractive To Others
They’re things you can actually do.
others is inherent in us all.
Since the early days of mankind, humans have sought to be part of a group. We’ve always wanted to feel accepted and protected.
Today, this desire still drives men and women into spending so much money to make themselves look good and attractive.
In 2018, for example, Americans spent $16.5 billion on cosmetic surgery alone to fix noses, reshape faces lifted, or liposuction.
Also, so much money gets spent on skincare and makeup, gym memberships, shaving products, hair maintenance, and supplements.
However, being attractive isn’t just about looks and physical features. Someone might look like Bella Hadid, and still have a horrible attitude.
That’s why attractiveness isn’t judged solely on how a person looks.
People measure how attractive you are by looking at a range of different factors, most of which have to do with your personality and behaviors.
Embracing Your Authentic Self
Attractive people have one thing in common: they’re real, comfortable in their skin, and always express their most authentic selves.
This is what it means to be yourself.
When you’re not afraid to be who you really are in spirit, soul, and body, and you can show up without minding how people choose to see you, then you can build the genuine trust and connections that make it harder for people to resist you.
The majority of people today are afraid to be real. People are so bent on bent on re-making themselves into who they think they should be to meet society’s standards.
But you don’t need to be perfect to be attractive; you just need to be you. That’s why you must move past society’s nudge to fit in and embrace your quirks, weirdness, and imperfections.
You have to have the ability to accept yourself as different and unique and to express your natural personality no matter how unconventional.
Psychologist Brene Brown, who’s a researcher on human imperfections described this as “Daring Greatly.”
It’s having the courage to go against the standards of fakeness society wants. It’s refusing to be an imperfect approximation of somebody else and being shameless about every aspect of your body and life.
How to do this
Quit trying to be perfect; nobody wants you to be.
Learn to appreciate what makes you different. Be proud of your skin, voice, looks, and flaws. They’re the reason you’re you.
Learn to be vulnerable. Sharing your fears and weaknesses. People get drawn to you when they see themselves in you.
“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.”
Become More Knowledgeable And Curious
Humans will always have different reasons for being attracted to someone.
Some people are attracted by your physical features and others by power, wealth, or influence.
However, one of the most enduring markers of long-term attraction is intelligence and competence.
Researchers have found that when people make relationship decisions, they consider a potential partner’s intelligence.
Intelligence ranks as more sexually attractive than qualities like humor, kindness, and even physical appearance.
How does intelligence make you more attractive?
Your deep knowledge of things means you can engage in lively and intellectual conversations that feel almost like foreplay.
You’re more likely to have interesting things to talk about on a range of topics, including literature, the arts, politics, history, religion, or even pop culture.
People find that you can engage them on a deeper level, help them expand their minds, and challenge them to be better.
Being knowledgeable will always outlast physical looks. The tall guy with a full head of hair and a six-pack isn’t necessarily going to look that way ten years from now.
But if we put aside conditions like Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, your minds will remain the same as you age and may even get sharper with maturity.
How to do this
Read books: a key way to become more knowledgeable is reading quality literature on a range of topics.
Listen to podcasts and watch TED Talks.
Mix up with people and learn about what makes others different. People with different backgrounds and views give a new perspective on things.
Ask For Forgiveness Not Permission
The most attractive people I know are assertive and confident.
By this, they’re able to make up their minds about what they want to do. They don’t wait around looking for a go-ahead or approval.
Most people make themselves look weak and unattractive because they try far too hard to be “nice.”
This “Nice Guy Syndrome” means that you never really have a mind of your own. You’re afraid to make mistakes, take the wrong step, or do something that offends others.
You’re passive about life and relationships. Instead of standing up for yourself, you let others walk all over you. You’re a pushover and perennial people-pleaser.
The problem with this type of “nice” is that beneath the surface, you’re a boiling cauldron — often helpless, anxious, and resentful. You constantly feel used and dumped.
If you want to be more attractive, quit asking for permission and ask for forgiveness instead.
People should always know where you stand and ask them to pardon your inability to follow their rules.
They may not be happy that you’re a man of your own, but deep down, they’ll appreciate your honesty.
You should never be too locked into doing what everyone says and trying to please them that you fail to honor your own needs and desires.
How to do this
Learn to say “no” to requests that you’re not up for. Decline and ask them to pardon your disinclination.
Stop second-guessing yourself and wondering how others will feel when you do something you want.
Learn to take initiative. Stand up for yourself. Make your own decisions and stand by them even if others disagree with you.
Kindness Towards Other People
The truly attractive people are kind, giving, and considerate.
People are drawn to kind people because of their ability to give a hand or put a smile on the face of a person in need.
We live in a world where people have grown more self-centered and individualistic. People hardly take time to notice what’s up with those around them.
No matter how good you think you look or how much money you make per hour, nobody really likes an uncaring, mean, and selfish person.
You probably know from your own experience that you’d rather be with a thoughtful and generous person than someone cruel and mean-spirited.
Indeed, research has found that people actively prefer to be around altruistic people.
In one study, it was shown that being selfless, altruistic, and compassionate can make you more appealing and even increase your level of physical attractiveness.
So being benevolent toward other people can influence your appearance in a way that helps you to look more physically appealing and desirable.
If your goal is to become more attractive and influential, making a real effort to be kind is the right kind of behavior.
How to do this
Try to be that person who brightens other people’s days. Here are a few random acts of kindness you can try:
Give people genuine compliments even if they’re a stranger.
Volunteer when you can
Buy small gifts for friends.
Listen and show interest.
Consider others when making a decision.
Don’t Overinflate Yourself
A critical attribute that makes you attractive is your level of humility.
Humility describes the ability to stay cool-headed and to avoid an inflated sense of our importance.
Being humble makes you more attractive because you’re not trying to prove to anyone how rich, smart, and well-educated you are.
As Daryl R. Van Tongeren explained in an article on Psychology Today, humility allows you to see yourself at the right size (not too big/overinflated ego) and also not too small (timidly pusillanimous).
Because of this, humble people don’t try to climb up by putting others down. They don’t try to show how superior they are.
That’s why whether as a spouse, colleague, or a boss, they make good relationships as they’re easy to access.
How to do this
Recognize you’re not the best
Accept your mistakes.
Don’t be boastful.
Ask for help when you need it.
Attractiveness opens doors for you. It’s a superpower that completely changes the way you interact with others.
When people find you attractive, they connect effortlessly whether at home or work.
All the behaviors outlined here have been proven to make a person more attract to others. And the best part is that you can easily integrate them into your life right now.
So go ahead if you want to be more attractive by:
Embracing and being more accepting of yourself. Don’t fake.
Become more knowledgeable and curious. Learn more about people and how the world works.
Asking for forgiveness rather than permission. Don’t be a pushover, always begging for approval.
Showing kindness toward other people. Be considerate and be willing to give a helping hand.
Staying humble. Don’t think of yourself as superior or better.
If you put these behaviors and more into practice, chances are you’ll become more attractive and likable to people you come in contact with.
Before you go
Thanks for reading. If enjoyed this article, consider joining Medium using my referral link to get access to more stuff like this. Yep! I’ll earn a small commission to support my work.
You can also sign up for Smarter & Better Everyday; a newsletter where I share interesting research-backed ideas and tools, and also recommend resources that will change your life.
Contributed by Victor Mong
For more information and updates join our WhatsApp group HERE
Like our page on Facebook HERE
Join our Telegram group HERE