🌼What Is The Best Way To Deal With Negative People?


🌼What Is The Best Way To Deal With Negative People?

Simple answer: Don’t.

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You might think there’s more to this answer, but the honestly best way to deal with negative people is to let them do their thing and not to engage with them.

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Do not talk to them. Do not listen to them. Ignore them. Leave them out of your life completely.


I know this sounds harsh, but the only alternative is to keep giving them attention, which will probably only result in them coming to you more often and bombarding you with more negativity.

Besides, why are you really giving them any attention in the first place?

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Is it to make them happier? What if they do not want to be happier? Do you really want to take the responsibility for their happiness?

Is it so that you feel better? Is trying to invest in them and being around them even when they are negative something that you feel you must do? In which case; are you really willing to take the responsibility of the consequences of that negativity?

When you decide to stick around negativity, of any kind, you are signing yourself up for a fight over your own positivity.

Fighting too many of these fights will result in you feeling worse, which has a ripple effect to everything you do.

In this sense, sticking around negative people decreases your personal chances at success, happiness, love, joy and everything else you want out of life. Is that worth it?

At the end of the day you do not have to deal with negative people.

Remember that they are choosing their negativity, and you are choosing to deal with it or not.

Let them be negative and gray and doing whatever it is they want to do. It is their life and their choice after all. Who are you to force them to change?

Taking this option is not the only option that you have, sometimes you must deal with negative people, or at least feel you must, which removes the option for you to just walk away.

In those cases the best alternative is to stay grounded in your own emotions.

Even if you cannot chose to walk away and ignore them, you can still chose to let your emotions engage with them.

To explain why you first have to understand that any and all interactions with people act like a Tug-of-War.

In a situation with you and another you are both grabbing one end of the rope and trying to drag the other closer to your point of view, emotions, ideas, desires, and even your personality depending on the conversation.

You will have seen this effect in a conversation with someone so positive or negative that nothing you said affected them.

Their emotions were so powerful that you did not stand a chance in your position and were likely tugged right over to their side.

In a Tug-of-War the one that wins is either the one that pulls the strongest or the one that is most unmoving.

In terms of dealing with negative people this means that you must either be so positive their negativity does not stand a chance, or be so set in your emotions that you are not giving in to theirs by even an inch.

That, however, is much harder said than done.

Very few of us feel so positive that we can drag others to our side, and most of us are not emotionally stable enough to withstand the negative storm someone may throw at us.

We are not really that happy ourselves and are so uncertain of what we are supposed to feel that we get knocked over by the slightest breeze.

If you want to become more grounded and stable in your own emotions then you must first understand that getting dragged into their negativity is a choice.

Even if you chose to be very empathetic you can still chose to let that go after the conversation.

Their reality is not yours. Which means that their emotions do not have to be yours either.

Sometimes it is hard to draw that line but the more you chose to draw it the easier it will become.

If the person means enough to you, then remember that their negativity is often a cry for help.

They want to feel better, and sometimes all it takes is for them to be heard.

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No one is negative because they want to become more negative, but rather because they believe they can gain something positive out of it.

If you can be that positivity, or guide those people there, you may create an opening for them to improve.

Beware, however, as this is very hard to do well. Even therapists struggle with this.

Which is why I would not suggest you try to help them improve but rather acknowledge their negativity as a cry for help.

When you do you realize that they are not forcing it on you out of hate or for you to feel worse, but only to feel better themselves.

With that in the back of your mind it will be easier to walk away or to leave your emotions out of the Tug-of-War.

That all being said, the simplest way to deal with negative people is still not to deal with them, for everything else requires more effort and time than you probably have to spare.

Put your attention to your own life, to improve the lives of people who accept your inputs, and on to being happier yourself.

When you do that you will not only have more energy and awareness to deal with the negativity of others, but you will also become a stronger force of positivity that will affect everyone and everything else.

Contributed by Lukas Schwekendiek

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