🌼5 Things That Really Don’t Matter in Life

🌼5 Things That Really Don’t Matter in Life

Self

The signature perk of getting older is that you stop caring about stupid stuff.

You also realize how much energy and emotion you wasted on things that never mattered.

Just a few but who is counting

I used to religiously count how many followers I gained on Quora.

I celebrated milestones at 1K, 10K, and 100K like I’d hit the lottery.

It was helpful as it kept me motivated to write but that was the extent of it.

With time, I realized these types of stats don’t matter — in several ways. One, they don’t guarantee someone is writing high-quality content (myself included). There are tons of high-follower users who write objectively crappy stuff.

Two, and with all due respect, these followers aren’t real connections. They won’t be at your funeral and they are rarely people you can call when you are in an emergency.

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Science says we need 5 meaningful connections outside of family and if we have them — it boosts our health, happiness, and energy levels.

The aftermath of the pandemic has enflamed a loneliness epidemic. People feel isolated.

I’m one of those people.

I’m making a conscious effort to be more social. It’s as Shakespeare wrote, “No man is an island.”

It isn’t really about the money

I still see annoying gurus posing in front of sports cars, peacocking around in their fitted suits.

It occurred to me years ago — the mere act of looking wealthy is an expensive hobby.

You’ll always have a watch that’s not quite as nice as your neighbors. Your fancy electric car will be slightly less fuel efficient, slightly less pretty than your friend’s special edition EV.

A silver medal will be draped about your neck in perpetuity, leaving you lusting for more superficial objects.

I dated a woman who was completely engulfed in this style of thinking.

It was all she’d known. She grew up with a mother who was a gold digger and a wealthy CEO father. Everything was always about having the latest purse, and there was constant judgment over what others were doing and wearing.

I quickly realized this was a boring and insecure way to live.

We’d look at restaurants and she’d determine whether they were good based on how expensive the menu looked.

Eventually, as she went on and on about jewelry, I realized, “You know what — I can’t even afford this woman, let alone stand her.

The most egregious fights you’ve

If you listed the 10 biggest fights you’ve had with your current partner and your exes, your “greatest hits” so to speak — there’s a good chance you wouldn’t know what caused a few of them.

Sure, a boyfriend using your credit card without your permission, or him having dinner with an -ex who is still in love with him — might be grounds for a hearty debate.

Outside of that? Most fights are stupid.

We are all going to die someday and a few of us are going to lament having wasted energy on idiotic fights that meant nothing.

I’ve had some really stupid fights, mostly as a younger man. And I’ve said things I wish I could take back.

Anytime I catch myself getting worked up about something, I ask the qualifying question, “Will I care about this in 5 years?”

The answer is usually no.

Most of your belongings

A friend bought a hot tub and rubbed it in our faces before it arrived.

It had neon lights and all manner of trinkets. And within a year? He got rid of it.

I asked, “What happened to the hot tub?”

He smiled and said, “There’s a saying about hot tubs that I learned too late.”

“The second best day of your life is the day you get a hot tub.”

“And the best day of your life — is the day you get rid of the hot tub.”

He went on to explain how much of a pain in the ass it was. The tub kept having mechanical issues. He had to monitor it all the time. Eventually, he decided to resell it and get as much money as he could back.

Roughly 69% of Americans have less than $1000 in savings. Yet so many are still putting stupid purchases on their credit cards, things they objectively don’t need, like hot tubs.

Rather than look for ways to spend money — practice gratitude, and do more with less. Save.

Put anything — something — away each month. You’ll be shocked at how quickly it adds up.

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Another thing I’ve learned

I’ll let you in on a little writing secret.

Articles about signs of intelligence go viral because people are looking for validation.

I’ve written about these signs several times and lost count of how many comments said, “Funny you should mention these signs. They actually describe — who knew — me!”

That’s fine and I’m happy when someone feels better about themselves.

What isn’t fine is when people flex how smart they are in some unsolicited way. I can’t think of many things more off-putting than someone mentioning their IQ score or having a MENSA badge on.

My friend works in HR for Facebook. They get tons of smart applicants. I asked him, “What do you do when you see MENSA listed on a resume? Does it help them?”

He gave me this horrified glare, “Uh, no. I throw those resumes in the trash. It’s totally irrelevant to the job and shows a lack of self-awareness. It’s pretentious.”

Recap for memory: things that don’t matter in life

Most of the fights you have with your partner. Statistically, they are so insignificant. Ask yourself, “Will I care about this in 5 years?”
Looking rich. Being hip. It’s an expensive image to upkeep.
How many followers or Facebook friends you have. Focus on real friendships and connections. This is my flaw too.
Half the things you buy. They end up not being used and get thrown away.
Your IQ score. Spare us.

Contributed by Sean Kernan

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