🌼3 Things That Make Your Life Harder
Stop neglecting these practices.
Do you have a master’s degree at making your life harder than it already is?
You would be amazed how skillful we are at getting in the way of our happiness.
The thoughts we choose, our morning habits and nostalgic personalities influence the quality of our lives.
Read also: How to bring out the fighter in you
Here are three fundamental practices we neglect that, if nurtured, boost our happiness.
Not loving yourself.
Many people confuse self-love with vanity and narcissism. I am not surprised by this fact as we live in a world that doesn’t preach about self-love.
If anything it capitalizes on our insecurities by rushing us to blend in and please others.
Self-love is not about perfection. It thrives on acceptance.
You don’t have to be shiny to appear worthy. You are already the source of love and light you need.
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Love yourself is more than a popular hashtag on social media. Self-love is the pathway to happiness.
Loving yourself means finding light in the darkest places. It is building yourself from the ground up, even if, right now, you are not where you imagined yourself to be.
Self-love is about keeping promises when you have decided to work out four times a week.
Self-love is staying in bed after your muscles feel sore.
There is no universal definition of “self-love”, which is precisely what makes it attainable to everyone. Loving yourself comes from listening to your body and intuition every day.
Self-love is the pathway to happiness.
When you go through difficult times, remind yourself to go gentle and love yourself. Challenges won’t disappear, but you will tackle them with grace and support from within.
When people criticize you, remember to support and love yourself. Since you love yourself, why do you care why others project their insecurities onto you?
Be the best partner to yourself you could ever dream of.
Hold yourself while your world is falling apart.
Be a parent to yourself if you have lost your mother and father.
Accept your quirks if society condemns being different. Standing out in a crowd is a magnificent act of self-love.
When your mind tries to compare your shortcomings to somebody else’s achievements, remind yourself, Hey, it doesn’t matter. I love myself no matter what. I am the richest person in the world. My all-consuming love makes me so.
Repeating it consistently adjusts your brain to a new mantra. Self-love will become a normal state.
Practice makes perfect.
Self-love is not a skill you master once and for all. It is a strengthening exercise you practice daily. You face the mirror in the morning, look into your eyes and repeat out loud: I love you.
When you nurture a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, you lay the foundation for building deep connections with others.
Start small. Do one thing today that will make you proud in the evening.
Tomorrow, do one more thing that builds the momentum for the third day. The magic of small steps relies on the persistence that leads to monumental shifts.
When you don’t love yourself, you won’t make good decisions. Acceptance of your flaws and wrong choices and not hating yourself for them is a shortcut to a better life.
When you love yourself, life loves you back.
Refusing to grow.
Humans are designed to grow.
Yet, we don’t challenge ourselves by taking risks or trying new things. We have taken complacency and comfort to new heights.
If you want to upgrade your life, your comfort zone is the worst place to be stuck.
Chasing after convenience makes you ill-adapted to face life. You won’t take risks. You will talk yourself out of trying new things. Your circle of friends will get smaller. The fear of failure will take control over your actions.
When we consider failure a decisive factor of who we are, we stop growing. But when you change your perception of failure and see it as a learning curve or a redirection to something better, you soar.
Failure is just a fragment of our experience, not a life sentence. And experiences are treasure troves of lessons.
When you embrace growth as an essential and wonderful human experience, you boost your self-esteem, become resilient when facing challenges and even start enjoying them.
Learn new things every day.
Try new activities. Talk to strangers. Go to different places. Pick up new books. Set new goals. It doesn’t matter if you accomplish them. Approaching new tasks is sufficient to develop a growth mindset.
If trying something new makes you uncomfortable, it is your biggest opportunity to grow.
Challenges are not problems. Learn to look at it as a stumbling block to success. Constantly seeking discomfort builds your self-esteem.
If you refuse to grow, you miss out on life.
Life is about expansion, trying new tastes and discovering fresh perspectives. It is a thrilling journey, but you will miss the train if you hang inside your comfort zone for too long.
Life will throw curveballs, and if you don’t bounce back from setbacks, you will find it hard to adapt to a new reality. The longer you refuse to accept challenges and grow, the more difficult it will be to carry on.
Refusing to let go.
Over-attachment to things, people, and ideas is the cause of your suffering.
Attachment means conditioning your well-being upon external events, the job, the relationship, or the outcome of a negotiation.
When we are attached to something, we live in the shadow of constant fear of losing the thing or the person we cling to. Living in fear is draining.
The practice of letting go signals abundance.
When you detach yourself from desiring a specific outcome, or a specific person, you embody the energy of not lacking it but already feeling complete and satisfied.
When you desperately try to control the outcome, you vibrate with the frequency of want and need. The state of wanting is the opposite state of feeling rich.
The abundance mindset vibrates from the place of having.
The more attached you are, the more unhappy you become.
Detachment means not allowing external circumstances to hold the power over you. It stands for emotional awareness.
Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering.
You can love people and set them free.
You can be meticulous about your business but not condition your self-worth upon your job performance.
Letting go means being okay with where you are.
Things to let go:
Draining people. There is no shame in cutting cords with relationships that no longer serve us. It is an act of self-love.
Worrying. It gives you the illusion of control, but worrying is extremely unproductive and gives you nothing.
Reminiscing. Learn, forgive (yourself as well), let go and move on.
Limiting beliefs. You came here to create a powerful life. Don’t take away this power by believing in ideas that don’t bring you closer to your goals.
Read also: 6 short quotes that can change your life forever
Seeking approval from others.
How things are supposed to happen. You have no idea how many things cooperate in your favour. The Universe has bigger plans for you. Instead of resisting changes, trust and allow things unfold organically.
Self-criticism. Your inner dialogue determines the quality of your life.
Letting go means being okay with where you are.
Quick exercise: Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Imagine holding a pile of papers (bills, private letters, official letters, to-do lists). They weigh you down. Your arms are tensed. Your back aches, and you struggle to move on.
Imagine stretching your arms and letting those papers go. Let the wind blow them away. Watch as they rise and flutter off into the setting sun.
How do you feel? Do you feel the tension in your body? What is your breath like? In other words: what does freedom taste like?
Letting go of people, material clutter, and memories are not a luxurious therapy. It is a necessity. Letting go heals your life.
The more you let go, the more power you have.
I won’t lie to you. Letting go is hard. But holding on to something that drains you is harder.
Contributed by Katarzyna Portka
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