🌻7 Habits of Likable People

## Luckily, being likable is a skill anyone can learn

> “People do business with people they like.”―

Are you born to be likable, or are there learned behaviors that can make you more sociable?

Some people are instantly likable, while others take a while to warm up to.

Luckily, likability is a skill that anyone can learn over time.

– We can learn to be charming.

– We can tweak our behaviors to become more well-liked without losing our values and life’s purpose.

– We can form habits that make us likable.

Read also:  How to avoid financial procastination and Impulse buys

> “Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).” — [Stephen R. Covey](https://www.famousauthors.org/stephen-r-covey), an American educator, author, businessman, and keynote speaker

So, what do likable people do so well?

Here are seven simple yet powerful habits that the likable have, and you can too.

# 1. They Listen Well

> _”_Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” — [Doug Larson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doug_Larson), an American journalist

Very likable people [listen well](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/10-qualities-of-a-great-listener-7f255fd60b33). You become more sociable when you listen to what others say and don’t talk over by interrupting. Pleasant people are great listeners.

We all liked to be listened to. Because [listening skills](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/50-one-sentence-tips-to-improve-your-listening-skills-a06ae98c95e5) are lacking today, you will be more well-liked if you become a good listener. When you listen well, you make others feel like you are listening to every word.

People love when others ask them [smart follow-up questions](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/why-effective-leadership-is-about-asking-smart-questions-a3e88fdb7005) that keep the conversation flowing naturally.

Listening is essential to connecting with others because it helps build trust and shows compassion. Good listeners are good communicators. People like you more when you are a good communicator because you are on the same page.

Great listeners are more focused, build meaningful relationships, and process information better. You can become more well-liked when you pay attention to others and show respect.

# 2. They Have a Positive Mindset

> “Eliminate the mindset of CAN’T! Because you can do anything!” — [Tony Horton](https://www.tonyhortonlife.com/about/), an American personal trainer and author

Likable people are relaxed, at ease, and have positive body language. You become more sociable when you have a [positive mindset](https://medium.com/illumination/what-makes-the-biggest-impact-on-your-mindset-dcd79688cbe1).

People don’t want to be around a [Debbie Downer ](https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/debbie-downer/)– a fictional Saturday Night Live character who speaks about bad or depressing aspects of something. Debbie Downers lessen the enthusiasm or pleasure of others, and that doesn’t make you likable.

People who are friendly smile and laugh. They make others feel good about themselves.

When you have a positive attitude around others and spread positive vibes, you become more likable because your positive mindset is contagious.

# 3. They Are Vulnerable

> “The only journey is the journey within.” — [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://poets.org/poet/rainer-maria-rilke), an Austrian poet

[Vulnerability](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/7-simple-steps-to-help-you-embrace-the-superpower-of-vulnerability-c75261060290) is about the emotional exposure of being open to uncertainty. When you are vulnerable, you are open to new experiences. Vulnerable people are more likable because they don’t seek approval from others.

Likable people don’t have to come across as perfectionists and are unafraid to open up. People who appear perfect are less agreeable because we are rarely perfect.

When you are vulnerable, you put yourself out there, risk rejection, share something personal, and tell others when they upset you.

Vulnerability is about stating a [contrarian point of view](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/how-to-offer-a-contrarian-point-of-view-without-upsetting-colleagues-c0e406ca94be) when others don’t agree with it. It is about approaching strangers and [starting a conversation](https://medium.com/better-advice/this-is-how-smart-people-start-conversations-1111efc83d76). It’s about overcoming your fear of public speaking by presenting to a big audience.

People like others who are relatable. We are all vulnerable, so you must admit to your mistakes and tell others about your flaws.

People don’t like others who appear perfect but like those who appear flawed. We are not always perfect, so be vulnerable to be likable.

# 4. They Are Open and Honest

> “The first step toward greatness is to be honest.” — Proverb

Likable people are honest with others because they know that openness and transparency foster trust. They know that deception doesn’t get you far. Friendly people know honesty and transparency are the foundation for trust in relationships.

Likable people are honest and back up their [promises](https://betterhumans.pub/7-simple-ways-to-successfully-deliver-on-your-promises-b73b8702827a) with actions. People who are well-liked are liked because they are authentic, not fake. When you are comfortable in your own skin, don’t force laughter, and use a phony tone of voice, you become likable.

If you want to be more likable, admit to your mistakes. Talk about your screwups. Tell others what they need to hear. Be who you truly are and be kind to others when you don’t expect anything in return.

# 5. They Are Humble

> “Humility is the true key to success. Humble people share the credit and wealth, remaining focused and hungry to continue the journey of success.” — [Rick Pitno](https://www.britannica.com/biography/Rick-Pitino), an American college basketball coach

Likable people are [humble](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/7-essential-life-lessons-you-learn-going-through-tough-times-fc430d964226) and don’t act like they know it all. People who are fun to be around, are modest, and don’t wave their accomplishments in other people’s faces. They don’t name-drop to sound important and don’t toot their own horns.

When you are humble, you will be more likable because people don’t like to hang around arrogant people who feel like they are “above” any person or situation.

Humility is about accepting praise, listening to other people’s problems, responding thoughtfully, and not talking about awards.

There is a delicate line between [confidence](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/7-simple-yet-powerful-tips-to-help-you-boost-your-confidence-7d01af5e955b) and arrogance. Confidence is about having self-trust and knowing that they don’t know everything. Arrogance is about a zero-sum mentality — where you believe one person must benefit at the expense of the other.

# 6. They Have a Sense of Humor

> “I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t laugh.” — [Maya Angelou](https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/maya-angelou), an American memoirist, popular poet, and civil rights activist

Likable people have a good [sense of humor](https://medium.com/5-minute-sweet-spot/this-is-why-laughter-is-therapy-for-your-mind-and-body-9ab683409e55). When you laugh at yourself, you can better connect with others. People who are enjoyable to be around laugh and have an infectious sense of humor.

A good sense of humor is connected to vulnerability. Discussing shortcomings and mistakes with humor can increase social support. If you want to be likable, improve your sense of humor.

To become funnier, learn how to tell funny stories, keep your stories concise, use more humorous words, use some exaggeration, make fun of yourself, and practice telling jokes in the mirror.

If you want to be the life of the party, you must have a good sense of humor. Everyone loves people who make others laugh.

# 7. They Are Present

> “Most humans are never fully present in the now because unconsciously, they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one.” — [Eckhart Tolle](https://eckharttolle.com/about/), a German spiritual teacher

Likable people live in the [present moment](https://medium.com/5-minute-sweet-spot/7-simple-yet-powerful-tips-to-help-you-live-in-the-present-moment-487176a33175). They enjoy life _today_, not tomorrow or yesterday. They know that life is made up of a series of temporary moments and focus on the today, not the past or future.

In today’s technology-driven world, you can become easily distracted by vibrating phones, email notifications, or text message alerts.

Likable people are present with the ones they are with. They are not [distracted](https://medium.com/change-your-mind/50-one-sentence-tips-to-help-you-stay-focused-and-avoid-distractions-2a8e7140d7b3) by what’s in front of them.

Likable people are tuned into conversations and are fully present. You become more sociable when you respond quickly to others and demonstrate active and positive body language.

When you serve others, your verbal and non-verbal communication shows others you care about them. This makes you more likable.

Read also: Three simple ways to take control of your life today

# Bringing It All Together

There are seven habits of likable people. They listen well, have a positive mindset, and are vulnerable. Furthermore, they are open and honest, humble, have a sense of humor, and are present.

The one thing about likability is that it is a skill you can learn with practice and time. If you form the proper habits, you can become likable and more charismatic.

> “Some people are inherently likeable. If you’re not — work on it. It may even improve your social life.” — [Antonin Scalia](https://www.oyez.org/justices/antonin_scalia), former associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States

Contributed by Matthew Royse

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